the only thing constant is the change
by MuslimBarbie
Summary: The biggest constant in Zuko's life is that people always leave.


**Note:** Not comic compliant.

* * *

The biggest constant in Zuko's life is that people always leave.

It started with his mother, chased away by his father. There was his sister, always eager to stay on their father's favorable side, who left him behind to be the child Ozai always wanted. And his father, well, he was always gone the moment Zuko's thought he might be in his good graces again.

His friends leave too. For the greater good of the world, obviously - they can't very well stay in the Fire Nation when the world is in shambles and still desperate to be saved. It starts with Sokka going to the South Pole to rebuild the Tribe that barely stands, and Suki returning home to help her people find their balance. Then Aang and Katara go off to travel again, because the world needs its Avatar more than Zuko needs his friends. Even Toph decides to travels the Earth Kingdom to focus on her metalbending.

One by one, they all leave until Zuko is left with no one but Mai, Uncle, and a nation in desperate need of change.

 **.**

Except change turns out to be the very reason Uncle leaves him.

 _The Fire Nation needs to know it is time for change_ , he explains, _and that cannot happen when the past still lingers_.

Zuko begs him not to leave. The Fire Nation still needs him, _Zuko_ still needs him! He can't do this without him!

Uncle smiles, but doesn't waiver. He promises that he will always be there for Zuko when he needs him, but _the flower will never blossom if it spends its life in the shadows of the tree._

He understands and he appreciates what Uncle is trying to do for him, but it doesn't make watching him go away any easier.

 **.**

He still sees his friends, of course. There are meetings and events and appearances to make, after all. Changing the world means being the face of the world, which means needing to be everywhere all the time. It can get tiresome, but it's for the greater good. And he's always happy to see his friends again.

But it's never the same, and the group is never really whole again. Sometimes only a few of them can make it, sometimes someone's off somewhere else. Sometimes people just drift apart.

At least the last part's what Sokka tells them once when they're in the Earth Kingdom, negotiating land to build a new city. People just aren't what they were before, he explains. He will always love Suki, but they both agreed it was for the best.

It's a little terrifying, Zuko thinks, how relationships can just change like that. Like all the time you spent together just isn't important anymore. He thinks the world is cruel like that, always taking things away when you think you've finally gotten a hold of them. But he doesn't say it. He just gives Sokka a sympathetic look.

 _That's rough_ , he says instead.

Sokka shrugs. _It really isn't._

 **.**

 _What's the point in fighting for something that we both know is going to fall apart?_ Mai tells him one evening, her voice so crisp he thinks her words might actually cut him worse than her blades ever could.

 _To_ keep _it from falling apart_ , he wants to say. _To protect what we've built together - what we've accomplished together. Isn't that worth fighting for? Aren't_ we _worth fighting for?_

And it makes him furious, to the point where he can feel his blood boiling. Because out of everyone, wasn't Mai supposed to be the one who never left? Wasn't she meant to be the one constant throughout his life? She would fight Azula and the Fire Nation because she loved him, but turn her back on him now?

It makes him want to _scream_ and _shout_ and _cry_ and light _everything_ on fire

But he doesn't.

Maybe it's because he thinks he deserves this for leaving her all those years back. Maybe it's because he's just become accustomed to the loss. Or maybe it's the look in her eyes that lets him know she's already gone and there's nothing he can do to change that.

Okay, he says instead. Okay.

 **.**

Aang is the first one to write to him once the news spreads. He jokes and spends the entire first half of the letter trying to make him feel better. But by the second half, he seems to realize that there's nothing he can say that will help.

 _Change is hard_ , he writes, _it can feel impossible to handle. But sometimes it can be good. Sometimes something different can lead to something better._ He explains that waking up after a hundred years, finding out that everyone he knew and cared about was dead, was one of the hardest things he's ever done. But it lead him to Zuko, to Katara. And he can't imagine his life without them.

It's easy to say, Zuko thinks, when there's no other option. When there's no way to go back to the life he had before. It's harder when the people he cares about are so close, but keep on leaving him.

He thinks Aang's lucky like that – no one ever chooses to leave him. He isn't like Zuko.

 **.**

Katara's the one who suggests Zuko goes to the island for Kyoshi Day. It's a chance to make amends, she explains, to show them that the Fire Nation is different now. That Zuko is different.

Easier said than done.

He isn't surprised that, even after all these years, the people on Kyoshi aren't exactly thrilled to see him. After all, the last time Zuko was there he sort of, erm, almost burnt the island down. And there really isn't an appropriate way to apologize for that. Which is why, he supposes, he's here. To build bridges and make amends. To help restore balance to the negativity and make the world a more harmonious place.

Yeah, he thinks as he steps into the docks and meets a crowd of angry people, great idea in theory. He's not so sure how well it will work out in practice.

 **.**

Fortunately, he at least has Ty Lee and Suki on his side.

Suki at least pretends to great him with the traditional, political welcome. On the other hand, Ty Lee, adorned in full Kyoshi warrior dress, cuts Suki off half way to full-on hug Zuko. She immediately starts talking about how she missed him and excited she is that he's here and launches into some story about how she's started training the Kyoishi warriors on her circus tricks.

It takes Zuko a moment to even grasp what is going on. He's not exactly used to be just launching onto him, at least not anymore. It's only Suki's laughter that causes him to snap out of it. He grins and hugs Ty Lee back, before reminding her that he does need to breathe.

Suki doesn't even pretend with the formalities once Ty Lee lets go. She doesn't hug him either, but she does smile and extend her hand to him.

 _Welcome back to Kyoshi Island, Zuko_ , she says before a smirk tugs at her lips. _Try not to set anything on fire this time, will you?_

Zuko isn't sure whether he should be offended or not. So he just nods.

 **.**

There are a dozen festivities that occur the week leading up to Kyoshi Day. On the boat ride to the island, he wondered how many he was expected to attend. Thankfully, there aren't many formal events planned for him - just a nice dinner, and a tour of the island. Although he's fairly sure that's because he's not exactly welcomed, he's still grateful. He can certainly handle sitting in a room full of people who hate him, but that doesn't mean he enjoys it.

As leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, Suki serves as his guide. She points out all of the historical landmarks and introduces him to anyone she meets along the way.

 _Fire Lord Zuko_ , she tells them, _a friend of mine._

It's strange, he admits to himself, to hear her refer to him as a friend. An acquaintance, sure. A friend of the Avatar, absolutely. But a friend of _hers_? He... wouldn't have thought it before. Sure, they travelled together and fought in the same battle, but they rarely interacted. Even after the war, he only saw her when she was with Sokka. He doesn't think he's seen her since, come to think of it.

She may not mean it. It could be a formality, a gesture of peace. It would only make sense. Yet, when she says it, he believes her.

 _Friend_ , he thinks with a smile. It sounds right.

 **.**

Despite having known Ty Lee for the majority of his life, he spends the largest portion of his time on the island with Suki. It's a bit different from the (admittedly little) time they spent together when they were younger.

Back then, things were more serious, there was more danger, they had a mission to accomplish. They had their fun moments every now and then, but it was a few bright moments in the midst of chaos. But this time, despite being here on more formal terms, there's more time for jokes and laughter and games.

 **.**

Games, as it turns out, are one of Suki's specialties. Especially festival games. He figures this out the night Ty Lee drags them to the local carnival. She wins a stuffed dragon in a knife-throwing game. It's not a particularly happy looking dragon, with pointed whiskers and an angry frown. She gives it to Ty Lee.

 _He looks a bit like Zuko_ , she says as she passes it to her.

Ty Lee squeals and agrees, deciding to name the dragon after him, no matter how much he protests. He glares at Suki and points out that this is all her fault. She only laughs, and even Zuko can't help but smile because _okay,_ maybe he does make that face _sometimes_.

She only laughs more, before taking his arm and dragging him to the next game. _Come on, Fire Lord,_ she says, _show me what you've got._

It's nice, he thinks, being around Suki.

He wonders how he never noticed it before.

 **.**

The attack happens at dinner.

It's brilliant plan, actually. Having the serving girl do it while the Kyoshi Warriors are performing. After all, if there was ever going to be a suspect for attempted murder, it would have been one of the women on stage. No one would ever glance twice at the serving girl, even if she was the cousin of a Warrior.

The last thing he sees before everything goes black is a streak of green and white rushing towards him.

 **.**

Zuko wakes up in a dark room he doesn't recognize. In the corner of the room, near the door, he spots a woman. He starts a fire in the palm of his hand, but doesn't need the light to know it's Suki. She's probably been there ever since they brought him to this room, acting as his personal body guard, making sure no one else tries to attack him.

Suki jumps up at the flicker of light, a relieved smile on her lips. _Thank Kyoshi_ , she says

Who was she? Zuko asks.

Suki's smile fades, but she doesn't waiver, and answers him directly

Her name is Rei, Suki explains. She was a child back then. Her family lost everything in the fire.

In the fire he started. Zuko clarifies. They lost everything because of _him_.

He half expects her to deny it. To tell him that the past is the past and that people need to focus on the future instead. To try to remind him of all the good he's done since then. But she doesn't.

"Change isn't easy," she says instead, her eyes locked on his. "It's hard to do, but sometimes it's even harder to accept."

Zuko doesn't respond.

 **.**

He asks that Rei be absolved of any charges. Tells them that he doesn't blame her for what she did, because he doesn't deserve their forgiveness. What he did was unforgivable and he cannot pretend otherwise. Back then he was cruel and narrow minded, and didn't consider the consequences of his action. It doesn't matter that he's changed and would never do that now, because it's done and he can't undo it, no matter how much he wishes he could.

The one thing he does ask is that he be able to repay her family for what they've lost. And any family who lost anything because of him or his family. It will never replace _what_ they lost, but hopefully it can allow them to be comfortable.

Neither Rei nor her family acknowledges his request, which frustrates him. But he understands. All he can do is try.

 **.**

The night before he leaves, sleep refuses to come. It isn't a usual occurrence for him. He's a firebender, for Agni's sake - he rises with the _sun_. His very nature opposes the night. But that particular night, it beckons him, calling him out of his bed.

He's half way to the shore when he spots her, dressed as casually as she did all those years ago, back when they were children fighting for the world. The only thing that gives away her status as a Warrior are the two fans extending out from her arms as she practices a flow drill.

It's such a mesmerizing site that he doesn't realize he's staring until a fan comes flying at him. He barely has the chance to duck before it hits him. When he looks back up, he finds Suki smirking at him.

 _Never sneak up on a warrior_ , she tells him.

Zuko shrugs as he picks up the fan. He can take care of himself.

Suki's smirk grows. _Care to wager that?_

 **.**

Three sparring rounds later, Zuko and Suki sit on the shore, panting but grinning. Suki may not be a bender, but she is a warrior. An incredible one. One of the best, he thinks. She's quick and strong, and always knows when to block and when to attack. Her technique is the perfect balance between active and reactive.

Not bad, Suki tells him as her shoulder brushes against his. For a bender, that is.

He laughs without even thinking about it. She grins back at him.

 **.**

She has the most beautiful eyes, he realizes suddenly. They're the exact shade of hazel that alternates between blue and green. Constantly changing like tide in a storm, like the course of the wind, the breath of a flame, the terrain of the mountains. They simultaneously look like the fresh sprung leaves in the spring _and_ the ocean against the noon sun.

He thinks there may be an entire world there, just in her eyes.

 _Your eyes_ , he says suddenly, _are blue. And green_.

He immediately hates himself for speaking, and wants nothing more than to hit his head against a wall. He tries to shake it off, focus on his breathing, but he can feel the heat rushing to his cheeks, so he turns away and glares at the ocean instead.

Suki laughs beside him, fully and loudly. _Wow_ , she says, _you're really bad at this_.

This time he turns to glare at her, but when he faces her, she kisses him.

 **.**

He thinks that maybe he's been looking at it wrong all this time, because maybe the biggest constant in Zuko's life isn't that people are always leaving him - it's that they're always coming.

If his family hadn't left him, he would have never gotten to know Aang and the gang. At least not the way he does now, as allies and partners and friends. He would have spent his life in the Fire Nation, ready to die or kill for it. Kyoshi Island may have only been one of a countless number of places he destroyed in the name of his honor and father.

There's a balance, he realizes, when one thing leaves, another comes. The world has a way of constantly shifting, but maintaining a balance. If his life wasn't always changing, he wouldn't be the person he is today.

He wouldn't be here, sitting on this shore with his arm around Suki, watching the sun rise against the sea.

This may not be forever, he knows, because there will be more changes to come. But it is here right now - _they_ are here right now - and he plans to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

* * *

 **Note:** Written for Zee for the Rare Ship Swap on AO3.


End file.
